ANAL SEX: The Whats, Whys and Hows


If you ever find yourself in a conversation about things people WON’T do sexually, then you’re probably going to hear the words anal sex in the mix. It’s a sexual act that has been closely linked to the homosexual male population, which probably resulted in its stigmatization. It has also been closely linked to some horrific stories of things going extremely wrong, but come on, let’s be honest and admit that everyone probably has his/her own sex disaster story that DIDN’T involve anal sex.

Of course, there also comes a question of whether or not it will be pleasurable. It is understood to have been opted by the gay community since it’s their only option for intercourse. However, what baffles the remaining population is how it would be beneficial to heterosexual couples, or women in general. Sure, it’s been present in pornographic material for ages, but is it really any good? And is it worth it?



Anal sex is the insertion of a penis or any other object into a partner’s anus. In males, it is considered to be a pleasurable experience because the “male G-spot” or the prostate can be stimulated from inside the anus. More information on prostate stimulation can be found here. Furthermore, as stated earlier, it has also been opted by the gay male population since it allows two men to achieve intercourse.

When it comes to physical pleasure in general, it is important to note that the skin of the anus contains mass amounts of sensory receptors and nerve networks that rise higher and higher in the dermis as you move along from the hairy skin to the glabrous skin. Sigmund Freud’s theory also indicates the anus to be a psychosexual erogenous zone. These indicate that the anus is one of the body’s highly sensitive erogenous zones.



It is easily noticed that the anus is very different to a vagina in sexual properties. First, the anus does not produce its own lubrication. Second, the anal muscles are physically conditioned to remain contracted whereas the vaginal muscles expand during arousal. Both of these properties prove that anal penetration and mobility are both exponentially harder to achieve than vaginal intercourse.

Then how is it done? Well, the first solution is a very direct one: lubrication. Anal sex requires a tremendous amount of lubrication both for comfort and accessibility. Most experienced individuals would recommend water-based or oil-based lubricants over saliva since they won’t dry up as quickly and will provide less traction. The second solution lies in comfort and practice. In a relaxed state, it is possible for an individual to loosen the sphincter muscles, allowing ease of entry.



Most research will suggest that pain is a common experience, especially in the beginning. Some might argue that the pain is part of the experience, digging into a kind of BDSM factor. However, it is possible to make things pleasurable, rather than painful. As we mentioned before in our article about BDSM which you can read about here, in the state of arousal, our sense of pain is significantly decreased. Therefore, if an individual is adequately aroused and is comfortable enough with his/her partner, then anal play should be a smooth experience.



You know what they say: “Test the waters before diving right in.” The same is true with anal sex. There are ways of slowly introducing anal stimulation to typical sexual activity, without the need for penile penetration.

Among the most common beginner tips is to include some butt play such as rubbing, tapping and licking the anus. Another popular method of stimulating the anus is through the use of sex toys such as vibrators. Proceeding on, some beginner penetration methods can include the use of fingers, smaller sized butt plugs, or prostate massagers. Just remember that lubrication is a MUST.

But above all, the most important thing to consider is your partner’s readiness to explore this new venture. The individual’s comfort and confidence is the key to achieving pleasurable anal sex, so be sure that it’s 100% OK with him/her before proceeding. But believe us, if you do choose to explore it, it’s bound to be a great addition to your bedroom roster.


Author: Nicole Y

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